As APPI Month closes and Pride Month begins, I want to pause and shine a light on the people who’ve made queerness and kink feel possible — especially for those of us growing up Asian, curious, and confused in a world that didn’t reflect us (80's baby right here!).
I didn’t grow up seeing Vietnamese women talk openly about sex — let alone BDSM, empowerment, or pleasure on their terms. I found slivers of myself in private, like forbidden fruit: while I was quietly bookmarking Masuimi Max’s MySpace page in college, searching for something that looked like power in an Asian woman —
I was also trying to beat people to the “me so horny” punchline.
Mocking it before they could, just to prove I knew the tired script.
That infamous line — ripped from Full Metal Jacket,
immortalized in Baby Got Back,
and thrown at girls like me before we even hit puberty.
They wanted to flatten us into a soundbite.
But I was already collecting proof we were SO. MUCH. MORE.
And because of that, representation mattered. It didn’t just feel rare though — it felt risky. It felt other. And being Asian American already felt other enough.
So today, I want to give flowers to the Asian figures in queer, kink, and sex-positive spaces who are living loudly, teaching proudly, and refusing to hide. These aren’t just icons — they’re educators, artists, business owners, and leaders. And their visibility is more than personal; it’s political, spiritual, and healing.
Here’s a short list of some of the people I’m grateful for:
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Masuimi Max (RIP) – The original alt model and fetish icon. Seeing an Asian woman own her power in the early 2000s felt revolutionary. Her MySpace page was church. And I worshipped her audacity.
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Midori – BDSM educator, artist, coach, and Shibari master who’s been demystifying kink for decades. A true pioneer. She actively offers courses/demos in-person and online.
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Eva Oh (Mistress Eva) – International dominatrix and sex educator, reminding us that power can be graceful...and delicious. Host of the #teakink podcast. "I Love Men Crying..." and "More Men Crying" are some of my favorite episodes.
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Kim Pham – Entrepreneur and BDSM educator who blends Vietnamese identity with kink fluency. She reminds me you don’t have to compartmentalize — you can build a whole life around all your selves.
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Xixi Wang (Asians for Sex Positivity) – Building a safe and judgment-free space in NYC for Asians, making sex ed less taboo and fun, and doing it with warmth and fire.
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Plastique Tiara – Vietnamese drag royalty. A vision in sequins and defiance. Her beauty is political. Her art is liberation. Seeing her makes it easier to imagine a bigger, freer version of yourself.
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ALOK – Nonbinary poet and activist who breaks binaries and builds bridges. They remind us that visibility is resistance-- and that's punk rock as f*ck.
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Dr. Tara – Thai-American sexologist, tenured professor, and host of the Luvbites podcast. She makes science sexy and sex education shame-free. I love how her joy and clarity make the hard stuff easier to talk about.
These people make the world bigger. Better. Bolder.
And they remind me that Asian identity doesn’t have to be quiet. Or straight. Or modest.
It can be everything. And sexy as hell, too.
I only have a small following. But who would I be if I didn’t use this little platform to say:
I see you.
You matter.
You’ve changed me.
And you’re changing someone else right now.
Thanks for letting me be loud about it.
JJ,
Founder, Neon Coyotes
